Blood Diner (1987)

Blood Diner (1987)

The cover to the UK release of Blood Diner

Film: One name that every horror fan should know is that of Herschell Gordon Lewis. Advertising legend and head honcho at advertising company Communicorp, as well as the writer of many articles and having a regular column in the magazine ‘Direct Marketing’, and over 20 books about marketing and promotion.

Oh, and during the 60s, he made the first splatter film, called Blood Feast.

He had made a few nudie-cuties before this, but Blood Feast created a whole new sub-genre of horror, and even though it might look hokey today, it was both groundbreaking and breaktaking.

Lewis influenced many filmmakers over the years, and Blood Feast, with its tale of Fuad Ramses, an Egyptian caterer who is also a serial killer, murdering young women so he can build a body for the Egyptian goddess, was his first example of it. He became synonymous with splatter films, eventually gaining the moniker ‘The Godfather of Gore’.

In the 80s, with the advent of home video, a lot of these films were being rediscovered, and thankfully, this film, serving as both a sequel AND a remake to the original, came to being, directed by Jackie Kong (The Being and Night Patrol) and written by Michael Sonye (Sorority Babes at the Slimeball Bowl-a-Rama and Prison Ship).

The friendly brothers.

The films tells of brothers, Michael and George Tutman (Rick Burks and Carl Crew respectively), vegetarian restaurant owners who have made a promise to their uncle, Anwar (Drew Godderis) that they will bring back the ancient Egyptian goddess Sheetar by performing a series of bizarre and deadly rituals, involving killing many young women to build her a perfect body.

How would these young men get rid of the corpses and parts they don’t use? By hiding them in their vegetarian food and feeding it to their customers of course! As you would expect, the police are alerted by the missing women, and bumbling detective Mark Shepard (Roger Dauer) and his hard-nosed partner Sheba Jackson (LaNette La France) are put on the case, but they aren’t the only ones investigating the boys, as a rival diner, owned by Stan (Bob Loya) wants to find out their secret ingredients.

These STILL aren’t the only problems the boys face as they need to set up the ritual with many participants, and convince pure-hearted Connie (Lisa Elaina) to come along as well, as she is to be the ultimate sacrifice to the newly reborn Sheetar!

Crikey, where does one start with this film. It sits somewhere between homage and parody of the source material, which I’m not too sure Lewis was taking seriously in the first place. Kong’s talent in getting weird performances out of odd characters makes for a B-movie feast that, whilst isn’t of any sort of high-grade cinema, somehow is engaging throughout. Just when you think that a character’s bizarre behaviour with a ventriloquist dummy is the weirdest thing you’ll see, you are next presented with a wrestler named ‘Jimmy Hitler’ or you see a woman with a deep fried head get decapitated with a broom.

Not sure exactly what to say here…

This movie is a Troma movie without the name ‘Troma’ attached to it. Every effect is done at the lowest possible dollar for the most ridiculous effect, and yet you’ll be mesmerised by it.

Score: ***1/2

The Blood Diner menu screen from the UK Bluray release

Extras: There’s an absolute crackerjack box of extras, including:

Killer Cuisine: The Making of Blood Diner is a great and complete look at the entire making of the film, featuring interviews with director Jackie Kong, writer Michael Sonye, composer Don Preston and many others. Lots of amazing insights into the making of low-budget films can be found in this!

Archival Interview with Project Consultant Eric Caidin is an interview from the early 2000s discussing the his involvement in the origins of the film.

Theatrical Trailers, TV Spots and Radio Spots are exactly what they sound like! Seriously, the trailers are possibly my favourites as they a hosted by ‘Phil A. Mignon’, a ‘gore-met’ who talks about the film.

Still Gallery. Yuk. Still Galleries and still galleries, and have no place on a DVD or Bluray: put ‘em in a book where they belong.

Score: *****

WISIA: It’s quaint enough, and there’s enough 80s-ness to it for me to watch it again, but it probably won’t be too high on the rewatch pile.

This film was reviewed on a UK Bluray release from Vestron Video

Sheeeeeeeeetarrrrrrrr!

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